The Day of Rest - Ssrienna's Story Part 4

by Jan Uzzell (Ssrienna)

Sunday

I was woken at 0650 and decided, far too early, so thought I’d snooze. I finally woke at 1041 (sigh) having missed the Church of OM (again!) at 0900 and the Character Borrowing at 1100. What a good start!

I did, however, make the Headology and Psychology lecture, which was fabulous and the Charity Auction (in between going to Sator Square to buy things I could afford!!). There were some AMAZING things being sold and some unbelievable prices being paid … I wonder what it’s like in a rich man’s world (sigh)

Then it was back to my room to get changed, with Lottie’s help again (I really couldn’t have coped this weekend if not for her help and Donal’s assistance in Ops) for the Low King’s Coronation and the Gala Dinner at Lady Margolotta’s palace (Ankh). I managed to find a sofa near to the entrance of the Dysk, where I had great pleasure in photographing the wonderful costumes.

After the Low King’s Coronation (Jenny Delaney as Her Lowness), which I couldn’t see much of unfortunately, we moved through to the Gala Dinner. Lottie and Lisa were my table companions and we were enchanted to find beards and dwarven rolls ready for us! How thoughtful of Her Ladyship to ensure that the guests, who did not have beards, were able to fit in thanks to their completely realistic Boffo beards!

The food was delicious, the wine matching the witty repartee in its sparkle and the speeches were great. I did feel like falling through the floor again when Terry mentioned the Maskerade winner (me!) in his speech!! Talk about your surreal memories of a Con!! I floated out of there back into the Rat Races, which were still going. Listened again to Mr B the Gentleman Rhymer (mind bogglingly good) and then went on to Scone and Jam, before heading room wards again at 0200 (ish). I’m sensing a pattern here!

Triumph - Ssrienna's Story Part 3

by Jan Uzzell (Ssrienna)

Saturday

This was crunch day! I’d spent most of the last 2 years planning a Maskerade entry, having enjoyed watching the 2006 and 2008 shows. I’d not felt confident enough to try a main character so was looking for a minor one or even a pen picture and, as I love music, I thought I’d try the musically themed ones first.

That’s when I re-read Maskerade and had the eureka moment on reading the Departure Aria description again. It’s always made me smile – the 17 stone lady pretending to be the 17-year-old consumptive in those sorts of opera and I was more than qualified to do that!! The bits of information about Dame Violetta Gigli in the book say that she originally sang the aria (well enough to inspire Dr Undershaft into a career of music) and that she once squashed a tenor.

I asked my music teacher to write me a piece of music suitable for the 6 lines we get in the book, having explained the background first and he produced a wonderfully bittersweet track, Lottie very kindly made me the hooped underskirt and another friend made the overskirt and shawl. I then wrote out the subtitles and created my 2D tenor to attach to the back of me! That’s when 1 month before the Con, I realised I needed someone to turn the cards, and my good friend Min volunteered. We did wonder about making her a dwarf, in honour of the Low King, but ended up with Walter Plinge, as it was more in keeping with the story.

So Saturday was spent being nice to the lovely people in the Maskerade Tech rehearsal – many thanks to Pam and Miss Treason, not to mention Shadow Dave and the wonderful people in the Green Room.

I did manage to do other things too! I caught (by accident) The Deterministic Monkey Theorem by Ian Stewart (having got the room wrong and thought I was in CSI: Ankh-Morpork) but it was fascinating and I’m glad I made the mistake! I was also then in the right place for Jaqueline Simpson’s spellbinding talk on “Elves: Nasty or Nice?” which was spiced up by the attendance of Periwinkle in her Queen of the Elves persona.

She “froze” Jaqueline and said she would be sat amongst us to listen to this mortal’s speech and that there would be retribution if she didn’t like what she heard! Jaqueline then “awoke” and apologised for being dizzy. It was a wonderful talk but, of course, towards the end she mentioned something that Her Elvish Majesty took exception to. However, Jaqueline was ready with a steel poker, having talked to Susan Sto-Helit! Most enjoyable!

I managed to catch “The Man in the Hat” interview with Terry which was lovely and even got into Sator Square, where the lovely people relieved me of some of the bothersome cash I had on me (thanks Gemma for that lovely image – pinched from her Con report!) Then it was show time!

Lottie very kindly helped me dress – laced me into corset, hoops and lastly the huge skirt. Then with other props in hand, we made our way downstairs. I had wanted OTT opera and by the Gods, I think I achieved it! In fact, on the way to the Green Room, several lovely people stopped me for photos and even gave me some hall tokens!!

Once in the Green Room the nerves started, but there were so many other lovely costumes and people in there that I soon got too interested nattering to others to worry. The only annoyance was, with Herr Kartoffelpuffer on my skirt, I couldn’t sit down and the hoops were so temperamental, I couldn’t use the crutch – sigh! We checked where our duo act was so Min could check how much time she had to change. She was helping me but also had her own routine as Lady Margolotta at a Temperance meeting (a la Joyce Grenfell Nursery School sketch – wonderful ;)

Soon we were on! I hobbled slowly to the back of the stage and was wired for sound! We couldn’t see “Davina” and the warm up sketch but it sounded fun! Then the 2 mins per contestant was whizzing through and we were on! I could hear Pat doing his usual superlative MC bit and suddenly he was reading out my speech:

“Ladies and Gentlemen, the management of this year's Maskerade are proud to announce a moment of culture from Ankh-Morpork.

We present part of the Departure Aria between the tragic lovers Iodine and Peccadillo, as sung by Dame Violetta Gigli (Ankh-Morpork) and Herr Flach wie ein Kartoffelpuffer (Uberwald)”

Min made her way across the stage as Walter, clutching a broom and the cards, to a ripple of recognition and applause. Then it was me! Shadow Dave had kindly agreed to be the other half of the off stage argument (and he did a wonderful job):

SM: That's your cue, Diva!

Me: But where's Herr Kartoffelpuffer, this is supposed to be a duet!

SM: We don't know! Just start and we'll send him on when we find him.
The show must go on!

Me: Very well!

On stage I went (slowly) to another ripple (I think for the costume ;), made it to centre stage and cued the tech tower with “Maestro!” The music started and I remember singing – I think I got to the end (it’s a bit of a blur) but I do know that Min was doing a wonderful job of turning the cards as the level of laughter was growing steadily (I can remember thinking “Yes! They get the joke!How wonderful!).

I got to the end note, held it, let it dramatically waiver and then turned to look for my tenor, then (as planned) both Min and I look at each other, shrug, I curtsey as best I can and turn to go. Now, Pam had already suggested to get the best view of the tenor, that I move as close to front of stage as I can before making the turn. This I do and the roar that greets me, as I turn round was most gratifying. More thoughts of “Yes!” internally and I then staggered off (the wrong side – apologies again Miss Treason)

Shaking like a leaf, I then hobble through to the Green Room, where I’m finally able to sit, and watch the rest of the show. There are SO many wonderful acts – we had a wonderful time, except when the sound went! We then come through to watch the Low King nominees being interviewed by Pat, while the judges (Brian, Terry, Bernard and Jaqueline) go off for their holy huddle.

Suddenly they’re back! All is attention as Brian reads out the judges’ decisions. There’s a special award for Poohcarrot as Lao Tzu for best surprise (he went “Boo!” before even starting the sketch!), a special junior winner Brighid Hurtubise as Concussia, Best Rookies were a couple of new con members Norbert Servant of Nuggan and Kevin an acolyte (they were great – I actually caught their at in the Green Room), Best Novice one of the Anguas, Best Journeyman was Brian (Bri Tze) as the Patrician (wonderful) and Best Master was Richard as Sir Joshua Lavish with, as Pat put it, the first ever pitch invasion of a Maskerade (30 seamstresses!).

So I’m stood at the back thinking that was great, then Brian does the build-up to Best in Show (and the silver trophy). Apparently, there’s usually an argument at this point with everyone trying to put his or her favourite forward. I’m thinking, it must be the Norwegians cos their sketch was brilliant! When Brian reads out “The Departure Aria”!!

Evidently the sharp intake of breath I took got Davina (who was nearby) wondering how I’d managed it (very tightly laced!) and also where’s the camera cos the photo if she keels over would be unbelievable! I’m swamped with lots of wonderful people all congratulating me, while I’m still trying to believe what’s been read out! But I manage to join Terry and Brian on stage, where I get a kiss from Terry (woo hoo!) and then the trophy itself!

I then ask what now and am told I have to do it again!! Which means people racing for props and Lottie having to re-pin the tenor to his previous position! As I have to back up to the curtains, I come out with “I’m sorry dear hearts, I don’t have reversing music” at which the entire auditorium goes “beep, beep, beep”! Priceless! I then improvise a bit more and we launch, finally, into “Questa maledetta” again. And everyone sings along! It was quite magical.

I have vague memories of LOTS of photos being taken, of my arms getting longer holding the trophy, of being interviewed by a lovely lady from the Chronicle (Nitta), of champagne (well a glass at least), of more singing and watching people at the Hedgehog party and finally bed at 0200 (ish).

Adversity - Ssrienna's Story Part 2

By Jan Uzzel (Ssrienna)

Friday

And the Con changed! It started normally. I actually got up at 0700 and went swimming (as I promised my self I’d try to do for all of the on!). Then went back up to shower and go for breakfast. I thought I’d put the bath mat close enough to the shower door, but as I put my left foot out, my wet heel touched tile and – whoosh - I was on the floor!

I think the only reason I didn’t do more damage, is that I’m cautious getting out of strange showers and had hold of the shower frame. So instead of hitting my head, I clipped my right shin on the upright (very colourful bruising), banged & wrenched knee on shower step, wrenched hip and hit left side (another colourful bruise, which I didn’t discover until Sat morning) and clipped left elbow.

After teaching the bathroom a few choice Anglo-Saxon phrases (some of which I’d forgotten I knew), I checked that there was nothing broken, crawled upright, got dressed and “Went to Ops” … very slowly!

Donal was on duty and, Angel of Mercy that he is, swooped and made satisfactorily impressed noises of concern. Unfortunately his 1^st Aid bags were on a side trip of their own, having decided to pay the extra to see the luggage fleshpots of Gatwick airport, so he was with out cold packs. One call to the Hotel 1^st Aiders later and I had ice in a napkin on the bruising.

Donal was just trying to work out how to do his job, while holding an ice pack to my leg, when the 2^nd Angel of Mercy appeared. Henry Proctor had arrived and, discovering that Registration wasn’t open yet, had come to Ops to volunteer his services as a gopher. Donal recruited him gleefully as my “Ice Pack Holder”. They then discovered that I had not had breakfast, at which 3 Committee members asked what I wanted!

So one of the more surreal memories I have from this Con is being served a full English breakfast, with orange juice and tea, in Ops with a young man holding an ice pack to my leg!

Donal had also recommended that I go to A&E just to check that the knee and hip weren’t damaged more than just wrenched. The hotel paid for a taxi there & back again and Henry kindly accompanied me there (Solihull A&E). We were in and out in about 2 hours, clutching some heavy-duty painkillers – nothing broken or dislocated - huzzah!

I also had a crutch to use – which was a lifesaver. Although, I threatened so many people at the Guild Fayre, where I was the Stunt Double for my illustrious and talented Guild Deputy (Essy) who was at RHDS rehearsals, that the Watch made me have a Watch tag (i.e. “This crutch is harmless. It’s owner, however, we make no promises regarding” – thanks Jenny!)

What I remember about the rest of Friday, apart from the opening Ceremony, which was fun, is catching up with a lot of friends – Lottie (who became my personal gopher for the Con – thanks again!), Gemma, Dom, Mole, Lisa (CCA), Gideon, Jenny, Rgemini, Eric, Adrian, Gid & Suzi, Ali from #afp, Kerry Ann, Essy, Xris and lots more and making new friends – all of whom were considerate and kind about the injury and suitably impressed with the bruises and description!

I also made sure that I was registered for Maskerade, got to see the Audience with Stephen Briggs (complete with the Princess Bride sword – drool!) which was wonderful, and attended the afternoon at the Ankh-Morpork Palladium (which I was unable to participate in as I’d stupidly left the words to Lisa’s filk in my room) but the ladies who did take part were FABULOUS (Jacqui, Lady Pinque, Essy, and someone who did Magrat, whose name I didn’t catch).

I also hobbled to Once More with Feeling, where I met Eric, Stu, Edmund, Gid and other talented musicians whose names I didn’t catch for a most enjoyable singing session. Runesmith sang a brilliant D&D inspired song “My gods’ better than your gods” and they indulged my requests to sing “Bonny Black Hare” and a Tom Leherer song “I hold your hand in mine”. Off to bed at gone 0200, tired but very happy!

The Seventh Discworld Convention

by Russell Landy

Seemingly I was one of the 50% newbies that were mentioned so often over the course of the weekend. I will ignore how hidebound this comment was for the purposes of this article as I had attended the amazing first ever Irish con the previous year.

I don't want to make assumptions for the other 899 attendees but I had an absolutely brilliant time and this was mainly due to the other 899 people there. Despite having been to the amazing first ever Irish con in 2009, I was not really sure what to expect in Birmingham. I knew that it would be bigger of course but size does not always matter. And in the same way that expanding an eagle by an order of four will not make it fly higher, faster or longer, quadrupling the number of attendees will not necessarily make for a better convention.

But just to ensure that I kept an open mind on this, I decided to arrive in Birmingham on Thursday evening so as to have the opportunity to see and experience as much as possible. I arrived just in time to miss the food that was available in the quiz - which was fiendishly hard. But luckily the bar was open and it was not the first time I have had to take my calories in liquid form.

Wandering around the room and spotting some familiar faces (from the amazing first ever Irish con in 2009) helped me to quickly discard the roundworld mindset and settle down in to what would eventually turn out to be one of the best weekends in a long time. Even only getting 1 question right in the quiz was not enough to dampen my enthusiasm; I just accepted the fact that I am obviously an illiterate, blinkered idiot who shouldn't be allowed out without an aide and moved on to enjoying myself.

Advice Interlude: Do not stay up drinking until 4:00 am in the bar if you have not eaten anything. You may regret it the next day.

Friday started bright and cheerful, and after breakfast I moseyed along to The Lancre Forge to register and receive the goodie bag. I also found out where Ops was (just in case) and because I am that sort of person, did a quick walk around of the hotel to make sure that I knew where all of the rooms were. You may laugh now, but you never knew when figuring out the quickest/easiest route from Ankh to the Cavern could come in handy. Obviously I was working out the routes from all the rooms back to Biers - because that would definitely come in handy over the weekend.

Fully awake and in DW mode, I jumped straight in and joined a team in the UU challenge. The less said the better, but at least we finished with a positive number of points which is something. This was quickly followed up by some games of werewolf which as an icebreaker is always a good laugh.

At the opening ceremony I got to see (and feel) exactly how much body heat could be generated by 900 people. I think I can sum up Brian's speech with 3 little words "go to ops". I am sure there was other stuff, but it was probably unimportant. Hearing Terry speak was, as ever, well worthwhile and it was good to see him in such fine form as it boded well for the rest of the con.

Back in the main room after the guild meetings, I was surprised to see how empty it was for the Bedtime Stories. For anyone out there who missed it - you fools. The first 50 pages of Snuff were read out by Rob (luckily without the need for him to attempt a Feegle accent) and I for one was on the edge of my seat waiting to hear where the story was going. Afterwards the conversation in the bar turned towards where we thought the plot was going and despite being told later on by both Colin and Rob that Tim and I were a million miles away, I am not convinced. Friday night ended up more or less like Thursday " no Hobgoblins left"1 with another 4:00 am finish.

Advice Interlude: See previous advice.

Saturday rolled in and I was desperately trying to decide what to do, find out about the history of money, or elves. Should I attend the talk on criminal minds or deterministic monkeys? How useful would it be to hear Donal tell the newbies what to expect and do (go to ops) at the con for a second time or listen to some unexplained mysteries. Did I want to embarrass myself in another UU challenge or the hedgehog race? And then of course there was the age old question regarding lunch and whether it is worthwhile missing something just to eat. Having read the readme, and the pre-con blogs and listened to Brian I realised that until cloning was perfected I was going to have to miss out on some stuff. But what I did get to (mysteries, criminal minds, elves, hedgehog, no lunch) was very informative and obviously fun.

I decided to take it easy in after Terry's interview in expectation of a great maskerade. I was not disappointed. Pat was, as expected, in fine fettle and managed to ignore the cacophony of barnyard noises aimed in his direction to run the event. While I may not have fully agreed with the judges decisions regarding the winners, I assume that they had their reasons. Far be it for me to suggest that they would be anything but infallible. The end of another great day, and it seemed like I had been there for weeks at that stage.

As with all discworld events (according to Brian), if it happens once it is a tradition, if it happens twice it is a long standing tradition. I therefore traditionally ended up in the bar after the maskerade until around 4:00 am. I am nothing if not consistent. That evening the talk turned to whether the chairman really is immortal and therefore immune to (successful) assassination attempts, how Stephen Briggs had succumbed to poisoned popcorn and the advisability of shaking hands with assassins in general.

Sunday started more or less just like Saturday. There was lots to do, various places to be, people to see (if only for just long enough to slip a venomous snake in to their pocket) and food to eat.

Advice Interlude: If attending the story telling competition try and not allow yourself to be volunteered unless you have something prepared.

Of course when it comes to telling stories, Bernard is unparalleled and can always be relied upon to be politically correct, brief, child friendly and keep on topic. All that remained afterwards was relax and wait for the evening's entertainment to commence. Yes it was the moment we were all waiting for.... the coronation of the low king. I do not want to use the words "fix", "gerrymandering" or even "cheating" so I won't. Suffice to say that politics in any form is always interesting.

I had an inkling that the gala dinner would be fun when I saw the small loaf of dwarf bread provided to all of the guests. During Terry's (short) speech I found my attention was diverted by the only staff member still in the room and who was trying (and failing) to not laugh convulsively. I got the feeling that if he wasn't a fan before the weekend he was definitely one by then. Returning to the Dysk afterwards for the Rat Race events was the perfect end to yet another long and awesome day. The only possible improvement would have been if Pat had shown up for his inhumation. Next time though.

Advice Interlude: Never bypass the opportunity to receive some reverse phrenology from a lovely (if mad) Irish girl.

Monday dawned (at around 6:00 am) and I realised that this was it, the end of my first ever DWCon (not withstanding my attendance at the amazing first ever Irish con in 2009). If I had one complaint, it would be that holding the Great Hedgehog Race at 9:00am was slightly biased in favour of any non-drinkers. It is all about the taking part and not blowing anything up. I was suitably embarrassed, and have already been in discussions with some engineer friends of mine for advice on the hedgehog for the 2012 con.

It was nearly time for the highlight of the whole weekend - not the RHDS , the "So You Think You Can Do It Better". How could I resist the opportunity to tell the committee about all of their blunders, goofs, mistakes, errors, bloopers, and cock-ups. I was a bit concerned that there was only an hour put aside for this event and that it was being held in the Odium. I did believe that an event of this magnitude should be scheduled over two-three hours in the Dysk. But seriously both the committee and the hotel staff had done an amazing job to ensure that everything ran as smoothly as possible. I was surprised to hear that we had drunk 10,000 bottles of beer and can see some sort of song being sung concerning walls, ales and bottles falling at future cons.

A late addition to the programme was the talk by various representatives regarding all of the upcoming cons in 2011. It was poorly attended - probably because not everyone knew about it, and most people seemed to have spent the hour queuing for the RHDS. So for those of you who were not aware, we heard about five (yes five) discworld conventions that will take place in 2011. So for anyone who has not already planned their holidays yet, I suggest you make sure your passport is up to date.

Australia (April), Netherlands (May), USA (July), Germany (September/October) and Ireland (November). I have not been to any of the others but I can say that the first Irish con in 2009 was amazing.

As I left the room, I realised that the person I had thought was queuing for me was there as she had a reserved seat. I envisaged sitting so far back from the stage that I would be in the bar and was not (like Vimes) a happy camper. But thanks to the luck of the Irish there was one door in that despite having both gophers and watchmen at it, had no queue. So at 13:00 I sauntered in and found a seat almost at the front where I had a wonderful view of a great production. Congratulations to everyone who gave their time to put on such an amazing show for our benefit.

All that remained was the closing ceremony, the dead monkey party and farewells to new and old friends. I am trying to juggle my schedule to make it to as many cons next year as possible and hope to see many of you there as well. With any luck they will all be as amazing as the second Irish con in November.

I would just like to say a huge thank you to everyone involved in making a brilliant weekend; the chairman, committee, volunteers (gophers, watch, crew), guests, hotel staff and all of the other attendees. I am only sorry that I didn't get a chance to speak to more of you.

How To Make a Charmander Costume for the Children’s Maskerade in 30 Steps (Thank You Chaos Costuming!)

by Louisa Bird

1. First, love your child enough (or be insane enough) to consider it A Good Thing when, after claiming no interest in the event, she suddenly, at 7pm the night before, demands a costume to take part in theChildren’s Maskerade at 11am the next morning. Also love your child enough (or be insane enough) to say “OK!” with a big smile when she further insists that the costume she wants is neither simple nor Discworld in nature.

If these two conditions do not apply, avoid wandering in to Chaos Costuming and letting said child rummage through the glorious pile materials. This is how they Get Ideas.

2. While child is racing back and forth bringing various material to you that she deems suitable for the costume, demand child’s other parent finds you a picture of Charmander on his Blackberry so you can actually try to make the costume look vaguely like what it is supposed to be. On production of picture, frantically turn mental wheels to work out how the %&**!”* you are supposed to achieve this given your limited time and skills. Refrain from mentioning that Pokemon are not usually considered denizens of the Discworld and concentrate on the joyous grin on beloved child’s sticky mush to aid your ability to rise to challenge.

3. Look through materials your child has brought you. Realise you need to help her in selecting appropriate bits as her 6 year old brain apparently has no clue about the sort of things relevant to costume making, such as: is it the right size to do the job? or: is the colour an accurate representation of the thing you are copying as well as pretty? Etc.

4. Find, and get child’s approval of, what appears to be the only large bit of suitably orange material left. Thank some minor god. Then curse same god as it dawns on you that you are Really Going To Do This.

5. Study material and try to work out best way of using it to make a costume that looks reasonably Charmaner-like in the simplest and quickest way possible. Decide a tunic with arms would work best after puzzling for a while. Avoid thinking yet about the tail or head to prevent panic causing mind to go blank. Also avoid asking anyone the time.

6. Fold material in half and hold against child. Cut off anything that is roughly below the knee. Wrap these pieces round child’s arms to check your desperate hope that they will go all the way round with enough room to sew them together while still allowing child to actually bend her arms. Discover that you are in luck and this is in fact the case. Also discover you need to cut a bit off the end so she can see her own hands.

7. Cut sleeve material down to size, then take material for tunic folded in half and, hoping you have halfway accurately figured out where the middle of the fold is, cut a semi circle across the fold to create a ‘head hole’, then cut a slit along the fold going out from either side of the head hole. Stick the thing over unsuspecting child’s head to ensure it neither refuses to move past the ears nor keeps going down until the whole thing is a pile on the floor. Be pleased with yourself when it sits neatly on shoulders like it’s supposed to. Do not yet give in to impulse to cheer wildly – the problems of head and tail are still lurking in background ready to flummox.

8. Wrap sleeve pieces around child’s arms again while tunic is on to work out the best way of fixing them on. Decide optimistically that you can do without pins as they will Slow Things Down. Eye sewing machine in corner with some trepidation. Previous experience of the things is that while they are faster than hand sewing (and easier on the fingers) they are also possessed by mischievous demons that ensure the thread will break and/or get hopelessly tangled, the needle will shatter, something will jam, the wrong bits of material will end up sewn together or, as on one memorable occasion with my mother’s sewing machine, the foot pedal will take on a life of its own before smoking and catching fire. They are also a pain to rethread.

9. Take deep breath and ask nice Chaos Costuming person for help with sewing machine. Nice Chaos Costuming person is very willing to help despite being busy with last minute preparations for the Proper Maskerade which is due to start in an hour. Even when you manage to de-thread the “**&!* machine after the very first seam.

10. Tentatively use sewing machine to stitch sleeve together. Realise this was a mistake when then attempting to attach the now tubular piece of material to the flat tunic using sewing machine. Learn from this and attach second sleeve as flat piece THEN stitch sleeve seam. Hope that you have worked out which bits need to be inside out and which don’t correctly so that no bit is inside out, upside down or the wrong way round once sewn together. Breathe small sigh of relief when it becomes obvious you managed to do so correctly.

11. Look at wobbly, extremely obvious stitching around shoulders which proclaims your lack of expertise with a sewing machine to the world. Decide that if child had wanted something better she should have given more warning and determine Not To Worry and that child should be Thankful For What They Have. Pretend the stitching is invisible and turn mind reluctantly to problem of the TAIL.

12. Look at material you have available. Realise that child has brought some material that is surprisingly suitable for the flame at the end of the tail if scrunched up. Also realise that there is enough orange stuff left to make reasonably long tail and still have some left over to completely cover child’s head (in anticipation of you eventually figuring out what the head is going to look like). Quickly banish all thoughts of the head from the mind in order to avoid panic attack. Foolishly ask someone the time. Learn you have 20 mins left before Chaos Costuming closes. Panic in a mild but philosophical way.

13. Look hopefully about to see if anything that resembles stuffing is lying around. Spot bag of stuff hiding on table behind large boxes of needles, threads and other such useful goodies and sag comfortably in relief. Cut very long, vaguely triangular piece of orange stuff. Consider the sewing machine suspiciously and decide hand-stitching will work better for this bit. Hunt around, and find, a needle and some thread that is miraculously the right sort of colour (orange). Sew away happily while chatting to other people, mainly about how sweet/active/loveable/evil your respective children are. Learn that this is not the first Pokemon to ever grace the Discworld Convention and that precedent was set by a Jigglypuff some years earlier. Remember to sew in a tuck about halfway along so the tail will look curvy in a poor light with a bit of imagination. Remember not to stitch over the very tip of the tail so when/if you get around to making the flame you can insert it and sew it in.

14. Get stuffing and, aware a losing battle is about to be fought, attempt to force a wad of it along a narrow tube of fabric with a bend in the middle. Fail hopelessly. Look about for stick. Spot an unsuspecting Sir Joshua Lavish holding a riding crop .....

15. After the judicious application of borrowed riding crop, tail should look pretty well stuffed. Return implement to owner before he panics that it is lost forever minutes before he is supposed to use it onstage. Forget to thank him profusely (but do it later in article for Chronicle – Thank You Sir Joshua!) Hear someone call out “5 mins before Chaos Costuming closes”. Panic wildly until given the affirmative answer to the question; “CAN I TAKE SOME STUFF TO FINISH THIS IN MY ROOM?”

16. Go to room. Attempt to put children to bed. Think wishfully of the times long past when it was considered acceptable practice to drug children with Opium extracts to get them to sleep. Consider outright murder. Think unkind thoughts of husband who has nipped out to enjoy the evening activities without you. Realise around 9.30pm that they are actually asleep at last. Wish you could join them. Get out needle and orange stuff instead. Try not to think about missing the ‘official’ Maskerade too much. Put nose to grindstone.

17. Think for a few mins about the head. Come up with absolutely no solution that will work when you only have a few hours and limited materials to hand. Give up and move on to creating flame for tail. Get out yellow material to cut and think in passing that the material looks like a headscarf. Have Lightbulb Moment.

18. Check orange stuff and determine there is enough to make a headscarf. Feel relief when there obviously is plenty. Cut a triangle out and stealthily place it across head of sleeping child to check it will approximately fit. Feel like genius when it seems to. Move away quickly when child shows alarming tendency to wake up. Decide not to do that again if you can help it. Put to one side with lightening of heart as next major problem has been solved. Turn back to Tail.

19. Scrunch up a strip of yellow material. Sew quickly, and badly, to hold together. Scrunch up and sew on as you go a bit of red material around the outside. Sew newly made flame to end of tail. Realise stitching is undoubtedly not permanent, but ignore on basis that at this time of night anything that lasts until tomorrow is Brilliant.

20. Hold up tail. Realise it looks very sad and floppy as flame is too heavy for end. Take deep breath, look round hotel room for inspiration and light on empty sausage roll packet containing plastic tray. Sparing no thought for room carpet, cut plastic into strips as quietly as possible (under the covers quite good for muffling sound likely to wake sleeping children).

21. Take bull by horns (or Charmander by tail) and cut stitching a short way from flame end of tail. Insert plastic strips and rearrange stuffing with fingers, then fight with material and cotton to sew the whole thing back up again. Extra hands would be useful here. If only 2 available, mentally cursing the costume, child, bedside clock and absent husband may assist in staving off desire to give up and go to sleep.

22. Hold up tail. See It Is Good. Realise it is unlikely to stick up tall and proud once attached to unsupportive tunic. Decide not to care right now. Place tail on back of tunic to find best looking position and consider best methods of attachment. Decide to cut slit in back of tunic and two slits up base of tail where there is a lack of stuffing. Hope slit is reasonably central and feed base of tail through. Secure with very poor ‘its 11pm at night, I’m knackered and frankly don’t care about anything but speed anymore’ stitches.

23. Hold up tunic. Watch tail droop to floor. Study for a moment or two and decide that a long length of cotton attached between the top of the tunic and tail, to be got from Chaos Costuming on the morrow, would probably keep it upright without being too difficult or time-consuming to achieve. Stop thinking of more elaborate and unachievable/silly solutions and move on to the headscarf.

24. Make two eyes and stitch either side of the headscarf. Two circles of yellow stuff with two half circles of black quickly stitched together work quite well even though not totally accurate according to what you remember from earlier glance at picture. Ignore the obvious and awful stitching. The child Won’t Notice.

25. Think about making big pointy teeth and claws to stick to sleeves. Decide to leave that til morning and collapse into bed.

26. After breakfast, settle in to sewing again. Get child to stand still long enough to try on outfit and check position of headscarf fastening and teeth. In lieu of actual fastening, decide to sew headscarf together where fastening should be. Think about making teeth.

27. Decide teeth need to be reinforced to stay upright, and hunt down the only bit of cardboard in the room which is already earmarked for other child’s wizard’s hat. Cut out base of hat and use scraps to produce small triangles. Place against yellow material and cut out triangles twice the size. Fold the yellow material triangles and sew along the opposite edge to make triangular pockets. Insert cardboard triangles, fold bottom up and sew along the fold through the cardboard to the ‘mouth’ part of the headscarf. Costume is now resplendent with big pointy fangs. Child is ecstatic.

28. Do bits to other child’s costume, cutting out material for hat and cloak (the original reason for visiting Chaos Chostuming in the first place) then get down to Chaos Costuming for 10am opening. There is now 1 hour remaining to finish both outfits. Charmander gets a large piece of cotton sewn between top of tunic and end of tail to hold tail up and claws cut out of yellow material attached with glue (Tip, PVA is not the most inspired choice with only minutes to go before official wearing of costume. For future reference, the glue gun glue dries much faster)

29. Madly finish other child’s costume while daughter shows off Charmander costume to a warm reception. Try sewing machine, struggle valiantly with one seam then resort to glue gun. Use lots of glue and pester nice Chaos Costuming people for miscellaneous items such as long strips of Velcro, more glue sticks, glitter glue and a working sewing machine. Finish with nothing to spare and run to join the Maskerade. Once you arrive, send husband straight back to Chaos Costumes for a couple of safety pins when it becomes obvious child’s pants are on show to everyone, you having taken the decision not to sew up the sides of tunic.

30. Sit back and bask in child’s pleasure in costume as she prances about accidentally hitting people and things with her gently waving tail. Refrain from mentioning that the hasty nature of the creative process means the costume is likely to have the lifespan of a demented mayfly but feel pleased it is complete and will at least last out the hour. Listen with concern and suspicion as child proclaims that “I love my FIRST Charmander costume!”..........

Day 3

by Darrock, Guild of Seamstresses

I am sorry to report that my poor psyche is in shock. I have discovered that the seamstresses provide a lot more to society than I ever imagined. It has taken much effort to hide my shock from my fellow seamstresses, but for the time being I believe they are still unaware.

It is becoming harder to hide my deceptions from the guild however. I have had to reduce the amount of clothes that I wear and push forward my wife and children in the hopes of deflecting any awkward questions.

Today for instance, I managed to get both my children into a fancy dress competition. This competition had many wonderful costumes and performances that put my efforts to shame. Nevertheless, this provided some camouflage to hide behind while wondering how I could extricate myself from this difficult situation without incriminating myself (oh, erm, and the UU, yes, them too).

It worries me to think that “hugs” and “cuddles” might turn to “thugs” and “cudgels” if I do not manage to keep up appearances. I believe I have arranged a way out for tomorrow so that I can return to Ankh Morpork and my former life, report to the Arch Chancellor and hopefully put the shameful events with Sir Joshua and his friends behind me.

If this turns out to be my last report, let it be known that I have gone lower than any wizard has ever been known to go and definitely above and beyond the call of duty in order to discover the truth behind the seamstress guild.

Day 2

by Darrock, Guild of Seamstresses

The guild still has no idea of the depth of my deceit. It would seem that they are being hired by Sir Joshua for some kind of “display”. Judging from the conversations whispered on the street corners, there is nothing that the Seamstresses will not do for Sir Joshua, though I have no idea quite what they mean by that.

As far as I can tell, the Seamstresses do not have enough work to do. They spend much of their time away from their houses, looking for commissions. Since there are a large number of Seamstresses, I can only assume that the commissions they take are worth considerably more money than I can warrant. The seamstresses seem to follow a similar sleeping pattern to your average UU student, sleeping through to early afternoon and staying up very late, and indeed sometimes into the early hours.

I have been asked to join in with the events around Sir Joshua. No-one seems to be able to tell me what to do. There appears to be some singing and standing around and more than anything it reminds me of a night down the Mended Drum. We will see what happens later.

Blood, Guts and Misdirection - The Werewolf Report

by Darrock, Guild of Seamstresses

I was stumbling around, feeling somewhat lost, when I came across a village. It seemed a pleasant enough village to me, with sprawling vineyards (which made very pleasant wine), meandering apple orchards with trees seemingly straight from the garden of Eden itself (which made a very pleasant cider) and some farming bits so you wouldn’t starve.

Suffice to say, I decided to stay overnight at the local inn, so that I could continue my wanderings the following day. The innkeeper looked somewhat nervously at me, but could not say no to the cash I brandished and so he let me stay. He did give warnings to close and lock the doors and windows at night and I wondered idly at the sincerity in his voice since there did not seem a reason to block out the warm summer air.

The following morning, I woke to cries of alarm and concern. The villagers wailed and a great ruckus ensued. I dressed and packed, unsure of what was happening, but certain that the villagers were in distress. As I ventured downstairs, I noticed a group of four burly farmers in quiet conversation with the innkeeper, who was gesticulating frantically but keeping his voice low.

As they saw me come down the stairs, one of the farmers accosted me and demanded to know what the farmer had told me last night. I told them that he had warned me to lock doors and windows and for some reason they seemed satisfied by this and left.

As I was preparing to leave the town, I saw a large crowd gathered round an old yew tree. Being inquisitive by nature, I strolled across to enquire of the happenings and discovered, to my horror, that a young lady was being hung. In morbid fascination, I spoke to various people to discover that a small child had been savaged and killed overnight and that the townspeople blamed this poor lady of the crime, believing her to be a werewolf.

After this, I left the village hastily, feeling that perhaps I should avoid such insane retributions in case the finger of blame should shift my way. After all, the meal last night had been very nice, but there were always other villages, less aware of the dangers than this one...

Werewolf was a very enjoyable game, held in over this weekend and it was great fun. If you have not had a chance to join in a game, do try to make the time and see what the fuss is all about.

And so it ends, and The Hunter

by Gary Webber, The Hunter

So. That's it. Two years of planning, preparation, work, investment in time and effort and energy. Gone. Done. Finished. Thanks. It was fun.





No, that's not right. Rewind, rethink, replay.

So. That's it. Two years of planning, preperation, work, investment in time and effort and energy. Not gone, not done, and not finished. Invested in the future. Shared equally between the hearts and minds of all who attended. Attendees, guests and committee alike have taken with them a small percentage of what went in to the event. Not the money, not the planning, not the preparation, although these things were huge investments in and of themselves. They've gone away with just a little bit of Discworld in their hearts. And this bit of Discworld is better than any other investment they will ever make. The value of Discworld will only ever go up. Disclaimers need not apply.

I attended the Hedgehog Party, and as is my wont I observed, and I saw this investment first-hand. Shevek was doing his usual faultless job of providing music that seamlessly slid from the 1960s (my era) to the here and now (probably your era) and in the middle of the floor, balloons flying and occasionally popping, was Distilled Discworld Fandom.

For those who don't know, a brief history lesson. Many years ago, when I still had dark hair and some of my own teeth, there existed on the internet something called newsgroups, which were basically publically accessible emails. Like an online noticeboard with feedback. One such group was called Alt.Fan.Pratchett. In this group people posted stuff. It was occasionally about Terry Pratchett. He posted too, for a while. More often it was about cake, chocolate, music, chicken, computers, Star Trek, underwear, more chocolate...It was filled with people from all over the globe. It was filled with people from all different ethnic groups. It was filled with people from almost all political perspective, religeous affiliations...it was a people soup. There were, however, two constants. An affection for Terry Pratchett, and a total acceptance of people for who and what they were. It had no choice. It was, as I say, a people soup. People had disagreements, certainly. But they were, for the most part, resolved. Yes, there were the occasional falling-out, but these too were, for the most part, resolved. It may have been a people soup, but it was made out of people, and they have a habit of being human...And you can see for yourself, It still exits. (The actual history of Alt.Fan.Pratchett is even more bizarre, the reason for its existance a fairy-tale, and the result of this fairy tale is a story for another day)

A group of AFPers, as they called themselves, organised meets, where they got to...well...meet. They got kinda out of hand, and before you knew it, a Convention was born. And once something has been done once, it is a tradition...And it grew. People got together. People did the things people do once they have got together. And having done the things people do, new people were born. And they were infused and enthused with Discworld, and the AFP mindset and philosophy.

And this is the investment.

I sat and watched, and I got a bit of a lump in my throat. There were young people dancing happily, un-self-consciously, totally secure with themselves, and totally comfortable in a diverse company of ages and orientation. They were unjudgemental, they were unbiassed, they were the Next Generation of AFPers. They were the legacy of the old guard. We had passed on to them the security, the open-mindedness that we had developed. And it is an investment to nurture. Our planet, this roundworld, needs people like them for our future, and for theirs.

Terry mentioned in the closing ceremony the cohesiveness of Discworld fandom. The ability to pull together, whether for our own or other people's benefit. He's the person who invests the most, but I hope we're returning that investment with interest.

So. That's it. Two years, four, ten fourteen years of planning, of preparation, of investment in time, energy...
If you are one of the many people brought together by Terry Pratchett and Discworld, and your kids are now following in your footsteps, take a moment to look at them. Your investment in our future. Be proud of them. Be extra proud of them. Oh, and take the time to feel a little smug. Your love of the Discworld genre means you get an extra percentage interest on your investment.

So. That's it. Two years of planning, preparation, work, investment in time and effort and energy.Gone. Done. Finished? Is it heck! Brian just pressed *Pause*...

See you in 2 years

And now it really starts, and The Hunter

by Gary Webber, The Hunter

And so, now it really start

There is a moment. A define-able, pinpointable moment in any Discworld con, when the day goes from a collection of friends having a drink to a convention. For me it is usually when the first guitar is produced, the first chord struck, the first quavering voices raised in ribald song. It is usually co-incidental with the point at which the proportion of costume to casual dress tips in favour of the costume. Therefore I am now technically at the convention since about 3pm yesterday!

However, there is a dark side to conventions. A negativity. Not, you understand, in the way it is run. Nor in the attendees, who are to a member brilliant, Nor in any way shape or form is the organisation anything less than remarkable. A 900 piece chess set, a 3 dimensional game, wherein the idea is not checkmate, but check-out. In fact, everything is positive except the nomenclature.

Consider. I am staying at home and commuting to the event daily. As a result at 8am I am con-descending. Other people stay in the hotel for the whole time, in the wonderful selection of rooms, which is definitively in-con-venient. However, a Landrover camper lurks outside and the users are of course con-tent. The whole thing is a conspiracy!

At the end of the day (or early the next morning, to be honest) I head home. I am, at that time, un-conventional. But at the end of the weekend the whole of the group will depart for their own homes across the planet, hearts heavy at the loss, the finality. They are to a member Miss-con-strewed. And you're reading this with an air of cynicism. Un-convinced?

Gaz Hunter

Discworld musings, and The Hunter

by Gary Webber, The Hunter

It exists in the head of a child in Mumbai. it exists in the head of an old man in Anuppur.
In Nyíregyháza it is being constructed, the building blocks of words placed brick by brick on the foundations of a fertile imagination. In Evandale and Blagoveshchensk, Baltimore and Phuthaditjhaba its geography is firmly established in the minds and hearts of readers. Yet were you to ask your GPS, your TOMTOM or Garmin to take you there it would fail. No such place exists.

And yet...

In 1983 a most extraordinary man with the power to turn sentences into space, words into worlds, paragraphs into people and places wrote *The Colour of Magic* . Just a book. Just an idea. Yet in 27 years the book, and its 36 sequels have reached across the world. Translated into numerous languages, made into audiobooks, films, radio plays, comics, they have actively touched the lives of millions, drawing them into a world-wide web of Discworld fandom. You are reading this now because a man with a hat and a love of carnivorous plants put down his fork 27 years ago and thought *Ooh, that's an idea!* In the hands of most writers the idea could have worked, it could have been a bit of a giggle, it may have sold quite well.

And yet...

I'm sure that when Rincewind and Twoflower caused the first insurance fraud that nearly wiped out Ankh Morpork Terry had no idea of the uniting influence his words would have. it was an amusing idea that might have legs.

And yet...

The Dysk. Sator Square. Biers, Ankh, Morpork. Not real. We all know them because of The Books. They exist in our heads, because we know the geography of this ridiculous place, The Discworld. A flat world, perched preposterously on Pachyderms, carried on a chitinous Chelonian carapace. How on earth could this be real?

And yet...

People have drawn maps so we can identify and locate with absolute precision somewhere that cannot possibly occupy the same physical space as ourselves. Ankh Morpork is no more real than Utopia or Atlantis, yet because you are reading this you *know* that is is a citly bisected by a river that can, in the summer, be ploughed. You know that at its head is the One Man with One Vote. However, you also know, in your head, that these places, these names exist only between the pages of a book, and in the heads of millions of people. They have no physical presence. Nobody in their right mind would tell you otherwise.

And yet...

Yesterday I went to The Dysk. Really, I did! I visited Biers and The Pit. I carried boxes from Lancre Forge to The Odium. I poked my head into Harga's House of Ribs and peeped into Ankh Morpork. Because whilst Terry's mind made theses places in the imagination, the magic that his words wove, the joy that they brought and continue to bring has had the most amazing effect. It brought together like minded people from around the globe. It united us. The Colour of Magic is real. It consists of the Black of a hat, the silver of a beard, the sparkle of eyes and the smile of real pleasure. And it is this magic that has caused a Hotel in Birmingham to become, just briefly, the REAL Discworld.

And yet...

The power of the mind is incredible. But, we are many. We, the fans, created a real Discworld. In our hearts, in our heads, in a Hotel in Birmingham. Maybe, just maybe, we created Terry as well...

Early Arrival - Ssrienna's Story Part 1

by Jan Uzzell (Ssrienna)

Being the impatient person that I am, I had to arrive on Thursday!

My husband agreed to drive me up, so that he could have the car. I was hoping to have introduced him to people, but with the parking charges at 0 to 30 mins - free and 30 mins to next time slot - £5, we decided not (L). However, he was able to see my room before he left.

I decided to be a good con person and “Go To Ops” to see if I could help. That’s where I got my Gopher badge and followed the other gophers to Registration, having helped unload a large white van with LOTS of boxes. All of which were books ready to give out at Registration on Fri and Sat.

I then joined the people in the room setting stuff up for Registration on the afore mentioned days. Managed to get my envelope early (as I was helping) so with “Ssirienna” in place I felt much more real! We then started a huge circular treadmill stuffing goodie bags ready for the masses. So children, how do we stuff a DW Goodie Bag? Grab bag and put one of everything from a long table (pens, bookmarks, programmes, booklets, balloons, etc), hand to the nice people on the end and repeat!

As we were obviously a chain gang, Xris (Chris Boote) started us singing to pass the time away. I think we got all the way through the Rocky Horror sound track, but we may have made it only as far as “Creature of the Night”

Then it was a flurry of meeting people as they arrived – Lottie for the main and I started thanking her for making my hooped skirt to go with my Maskerade costume (I think I stopped thanking her on Monday?). My apologies if I missed people’s names but we heard that over 400 people had arrived on Thursday!!

Then there was the insanity of the “Unofficial Fiendishly Difficult Pub Quiz” where I was on a table with Winterbay, Marlies, Goofgiant, Red Head, Torak and his wife (whose name escapes me now – I blame the alcohol!), Fi and others – we called ourselves “Smwgrttf” (or something like that) with (bless you) in brackets. Our idea being that when it was read out we’d all shout “Bless You” unfortunately we’d added that at the top so it was read out at the same time as we shouted it – so the joke got lost a bit – but we laughed!

The winners of the Quiz, who cheated as they had Min Lacey on their team, got 24 points! Um… we didn’t but I don’t think we were last on 16, which we thought was rather good! Then there was Biers and drinking and some singing and I got to bed somewhere round midnight.

Go To Ops!

By popular demand, here is the filk from the Opening Ceremony:

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Discworld Convention 2010.

Go to Ops.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, Ops would be it. The long-term benefits of going to Ops have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the opportunities to relax this weekend. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the opportunities to relax this weekend until you've walked out the door at the end. But trust me, in 2 weeks, you'll look back at iconography of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how worthwhile it is now and again to just stop and absorb what's going on around us all. The Programme isn't as packed as you imagine.

Don't worry about returning to the real world. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to outrun a werewolf over uneven terrain. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you just as you're trying to make a tricky move in Thud.

Do one thing every day that gets you Guild points.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's ReadMes. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Queue.

Don't waste your time counting hall costume tokens. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember drinks others buy for you. Forget the ones you buy for people. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old convention badges. Throw away your old hotel bills.

Have Breakfast.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your weekend. The most interesting people I know won't know by Saturday lunchtime what they want to do with their weekends. Some of the most
interesting con veterans I know never will.

Get plenty of liquid. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when you can't walk on Monday.

Maybe you'll join a Guild, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll Create a Religion, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll stay up all night, maybe you'll get lots of sleep and be energetic every day. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So says the Lady.

Enjoy your costume. Wear it whenever you want. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It probably looks fantastic.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but at the Hedgehog party.

Read the directions, please follow them.

Do not worry about wedding parties. We will only make them feel less special.

Get to know the Committee. You never know when they'll retire for good. Be nice to your Guildmates. They're your best chance of winning the competition and the people most likely to remember you next time.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because really, we're all here to have fun and, sadly, a whole bunch of other people think we're weird.

Volunteer to be Committee once, but… no wait, keep volunteering. Gopher.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Weapons aren't allowed. You will miss events you want to see. You, too, will get tired. And when you do, you'll try desperately to persuade yourself you can sing one last
song, have one more pint, meet one more new person and still get up in the morning.

Get up in the morning.

Don't expect everyone to instantly befriend you. Maybe they're tired. Maybe they aren't in the mood. But you never know when surprise conversations and friendships will appear.

Don't put on too much bodypaint or you won't be allowed to sit on the chairs.

Be careful what events you go to, but really take part in those you do. The Convention is a moment in time, a weekend that will all too soon turn into memory, but it is your moment, so make sure its worth it.

But trust me on Ops.

--Brian Nisbet

And for the younglings amongst you, here is the original:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

Reminder and Request - Discussion and Feedback From the Convention

If you have any specific feedback or comments on the Convention and you want to be sure that the ConCom pick them up for future inputs/responses then you can mail them direct to:

info@dwcon.org

Or you can discuss them with the wider membership on the Google Group/Convention Mail list:

http://groups.google.com/group/dwcon_org_2010?hl=en

email to:

dwcon_org_2010@googlegroups.com

Since not all the Committee have second lives on Facebook, Twitter, LJ or the million other places the official Convention groups and lists are the only place which where points are sure to be picked up for reference or action and we are keen to capture as much feedback as possible.

You are of course, also welcome to continue using the Congroups to chatter away as normal about the event, experiences and meeting up etc!

Karen/hypatia Karen@lspace.org

Links to picture pages

The first links are coming in, the page has an RSS feed for notifications.

http://groups.google.co.uk/group/dwcon_org_2010/web/pictures-from-dwcon-2010

Calling for submissions and links!

The Chronicle Live is still open for business and we are compiling a page of links to picture collections and individual posts and reports.

If you have a set of pictures online and you are happy for us to link to them please send the link to me at:

Pictures@dwcon.org

If you use flickr for you pictures, please add the DWCon2010 tag as this will be one of the links we list.

Links to reports, plus any content/reports/articles you have for the Chronicle Live can be sent to me at:

blog@dwcon.org

We can upload reports for you to the main Chronicle for current and future members to enjoy, just as we did last time. Don't be shy - the bigger the range of people and articles the more interesting it is for our members and those who are tentatively considering dipping a toe in convention waters.

It also acts as an aide memoire for those who had brief moments of being tired and emotional :-)

Why Ian Stewart Goes to Discworld

Just a reminder of the Ian Stewart's great article on The Guardian blog for those of you who missed it by being en route to the Convention:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2010/aug/26/discworld-convention-terry-pratchett

The Lady with the Inflatable Kangaroo

by Nitta
I’ve been chasing her around the halls for two days and finally met her when she was on Watch duty at the Sunday morning booksignings. I wanted to know a bit more about the inflatable kangaroo (as well).
On closer examination she proved to be Sue Weatherwax (some relation of Granny’s, no doubt), and although the kangaroo was not within sight, she had a small white kitten under her pointy hat.

- What is the name of your kangaroo – and which part of Fourecks is he from?
- He’s called Flipper and is from Sydney, like me. It took me 30 hours to get her – but Flipper was not allowed on the plane, so he was smuggled in the country and we arranged a mmeting here, by the Google forum.
- Does he have a special diet?
- Oh, he’s a very light eater – practically lives on air.

Next I wanted to know whether Flipper knew a certain wizard named Rincewind – and he did; moreover, was impressed by his ability to run at high speed.

Talking about future plans Sue mentioned that Flipper would very much like to attend Nullus Anxietas III, the Australian Discworld Convention (to be held in Penrith, NSW, from 8 to 10 April 2011), only it’s difficult to get in live animals. But who knows, he might get in.
Hop over and visit him Down under!

7 – 4 – 1: Mort. A quick chat with the Chairman

by Nitta
When I asked Brian about when he could give me 5 minutes of his time he flipped through the Convention programme, asked someone not to remove the flipchart paper with the day’s schedules, glanced at his watch and said “yes, about now would be the best time”.

I asked what his second most frequently used phrase was (after “Go to Ops!”). He laughed and said. “It’s all good!”
When I asked whether it was true that the next con was going to be held in a desert to fit in all the fans he laughed again and said 900 was a good number. At the last Con the sign-up closed at 800 members – to this one they consulted Terry whether it was OK to add an extra 100 and he agreed, but this really seems to be the outer limit. It’s not easy to find a space that can accommodate so many people, has adequate-sized halls etc.

When I asked who was to be praised or blamed for selecting the Convention’s theme he answered that allegedly that was the chairman’s privilege but in reality it was a joint decision. They pick a book with a strong central theme and build the con around it. Originally Going Postal was picked (“my 2nd favourite book, and also related to my day job”, says Brian), but then they had several meetings discussing the Con theme and came up with The Fifth Elephant instead which had much clearer themes and elements, and it was easier to structure a Convention around it.

I wanted to know how much time he had for his own life between the Conventions. He laughed again and said it varied – the closer the con, the less time for anything else. As everyone among the organisers does this as a voluntary job, time needs to be structured. In the last month before the opening everything revolves around the Con.

I wanted to know whether he read the Discworld novels in hardback or waited until the paperback editions came out. He said he didn’t rush to the books as before, in his teenage years – and as he’s got a limited shelf space, he preferred the smaller, paperback books.
His favourite character is tied with his favourite book: Mort. He has read it first as a teenager and was very much in it; he liked the idea of the boy who goes and gets offered a job by Death, does all those things, nearly rescues a princess, is at the point of beating Death but realises it would be really lonesome afterwards – to Brian this is an awesome story of growing up. He says what was written in 7 volumes in the Harry Potter series and 4 in the Tiffany Aching novels it’s condensed in 1 novel here.
Brian thinks Mort is a greatly underrated character – and what we all remember is his daughter.

Gods and P.E.

by Nitta
Brighid Hurtubise won the Junior Award at the 2010 Maskerade. I talked to her and her dad Josef while queuing for Sunday’s booksignings.

- How did you find the idea?
- I was thinking about gods – and people who don’t like P.E.
- Are you one of them?
- Yes.
- But she’s never been concussed – says her dad.

Brighid has been a Discworld fan since she’s been  6 or 7 years old (do you remember not being a DW-fan – asks Josef). Brighid is also a veteran conventioneer: she attended the 2008 Convention, and also a New Zealand convention. At the last Maskerade they were the Lancre Royal Family, and she was dressed as Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling of Lancre.

Her favourite Discworld character is Death – because he likes kittens.