The Closing Ceremony

by Jessica Yates

This was a series of thank-yous, with relief that everything had gone so well. Terry thanked Ops who managed his timetable saying that it was the best-organised convention he had attended. We had the results of the Guild Competition which Jacqueline and her deputies accepted for the Seamstresses (loud cheers).

Before presenting the certificates for the Maskerade, there were two special awards; the first to Davina for her exhibitionism (you had to be there, or maybe not) and the second to Dr. Pat Harkin for his compèring.

Terry praised the Rocky Horror Discworld Show. He had personally obtained the permission from Richard O’Brien for this one-off. “You are the best bunch of loonies there has ever been,” he declared. It was beautifully done, and he would always buy his ice-cream from Beth Warner in future!

Next came a surprise – a non-signed book (joke) from the whole Convention, which Terry vowed not to read! More good news, the charity auction raised over £18,000! After thanking the Hotel staff, and the Guests, Brian requested all his Committee members to parade on stage for their well-deserved applause, which seemed to go on for ever.

Now the announcement we had been waiting for, about the next U.K. Convention! First, we would not have to wait two years for another Discworld Convention as five had already been arranged for 2011: Australia, the Netherlands, North America, Germany and Ireland. But what of our own Convention in 2012? Yes, provisional arrangements had been made for late August to avoid a certain sporting event taking place a little earlier...and maybe in this very hotel. Brian had decided to reprise the role of Chairman (cheers) and Terry had agreed to be Guest of Honour (loud cheers).

And so gradually and reluctantly we began to return to the Roundworld, though there were compensations in my case and probably for everyone else, the DVD of Going Postal and the launch of I shall wear Midnight to keep us cheerful through September.

A Song and Dance - Ssrienna's Story Part 5

by Jan Uzzell (Ssrienna)

Monday

All too soon the fateful day dawns – the end of the DW Con 2010!

I spent most of the morning nattering with more friends and trying to take Donal’s advice of trying to rest the leg (the bruises are still fairly flamboyant but the knee is really stiff and sore – sigh) Then off to Rocky Horror Discworld Show...what can I say that hasn’t already been said in other Con reports!

They were BRILLIANT! The cast, the sets, the narrator (Pat again!), the songs – all wonderful. I think my favourite bit is when Carrot (“dwarf”) is doing the Brad bit having just met an unusual Patrician and he says “Can we use your phone?” followed by “Go back to our car” and after each time he turns to Angua (“werewolf”) to mouth in complete confusion “phone” and “car”! Priceless again! Then they did the time warp with the ENTIRE con joining in (I tried from my seat ;)

They retired to Biers where they allowed people to take photos!!

After some more gossiping with old friends and new, it was then time for the closing ceremony. The first part went in a bit of a blur! All I could remember was “Oh God! We’ve got to go up and collect a trophy again” I still can’t believe it and yet I can turn my head and see it in my cabinet behind me!

I believe the Guild of Seamstresses won the Guild competition. As I was part of the Bonk Operatic Society, a non-competing guild so technically we couldn’t lose, I hadn’t kept up with all the guild activities, although I did hear of the “how many people can you stuff under a crinoline?”[1]

Then Brian had the stage and called up all the wonderful people who made up the Committee this year. A lot of thoroughly well deserved cheering and clapping followed all the people who’d given up seeing programme items, sleep, food and (almost) alcohol to make this, in Terry’s words, the BEST CONVENTION EVER!

We did speculate whether there would be another (Terry said there would be!) and who would Chair it … the photo says it all!

Here’s a HUGE thank you to all the committee members for a wonderful time and am looking forward to the next one in 2012. Who knows, I may even make some of the other ones! I’m definitely getting the habit!! How do I end this … Oh I know!

Fat Lady Has Sung!

---

[1] Apparently 15 – I’ve seen the photos!

And so it ends, and The Hunter

by Gary Webber, The Hunter

So. That's it. Two years of planning, preparation, work, investment in time and effort and energy. Gone. Done. Finished. Thanks. It was fun.





No, that's not right. Rewind, rethink, replay.

So. That's it. Two years of planning, preperation, work, investment in time and effort and energy. Not gone, not done, and not finished. Invested in the future. Shared equally between the hearts and minds of all who attended. Attendees, guests and committee alike have taken with them a small percentage of what went in to the event. Not the money, not the planning, not the preparation, although these things were huge investments in and of themselves. They've gone away with just a little bit of Discworld in their hearts. And this bit of Discworld is better than any other investment they will ever make. The value of Discworld will only ever go up. Disclaimers need not apply.

I attended the Hedgehog Party, and as is my wont I observed, and I saw this investment first-hand. Shevek was doing his usual faultless job of providing music that seamlessly slid from the 1960s (my era) to the here and now (probably your era) and in the middle of the floor, balloons flying and occasionally popping, was Distilled Discworld Fandom.

For those who don't know, a brief history lesson. Many years ago, when I still had dark hair and some of my own teeth, there existed on the internet something called newsgroups, which were basically publically accessible emails. Like an online noticeboard with feedback. One such group was called Alt.Fan.Pratchett. In this group people posted stuff. It was occasionally about Terry Pratchett. He posted too, for a while. More often it was about cake, chocolate, music, chicken, computers, Star Trek, underwear, more chocolate...It was filled with people from all over the globe. It was filled with people from all different ethnic groups. It was filled with people from almost all political perspective, religeous affiliations...it was a people soup. There were, however, two constants. An affection for Terry Pratchett, and a total acceptance of people for who and what they were. It had no choice. It was, as I say, a people soup. People had disagreements, certainly. But they were, for the most part, resolved. Yes, there were the occasional falling-out, but these too were, for the most part, resolved. It may have been a people soup, but it was made out of people, and they have a habit of being human...And you can see for yourself, It still exits. (The actual history of Alt.Fan.Pratchett is even more bizarre, the reason for its existance a fairy-tale, and the result of this fairy tale is a story for another day)

A group of AFPers, as they called themselves, organised meets, where they got to...well...meet. They got kinda out of hand, and before you knew it, a Convention was born. And once something has been done once, it is a tradition...And it grew. People got together. People did the things people do once they have got together. And having done the things people do, new people were born. And they were infused and enthused with Discworld, and the AFP mindset and philosophy.

And this is the investment.

I sat and watched, and I got a bit of a lump in my throat. There were young people dancing happily, un-self-consciously, totally secure with themselves, and totally comfortable in a diverse company of ages and orientation. They were unjudgemental, they were unbiassed, they were the Next Generation of AFPers. They were the legacy of the old guard. We had passed on to them the security, the open-mindedness that we had developed. And it is an investment to nurture. Our planet, this roundworld, needs people like them for our future, and for theirs.

Terry mentioned in the closing ceremony the cohesiveness of Discworld fandom. The ability to pull together, whether for our own or other people's benefit. He's the person who invests the most, but I hope we're returning that investment with interest.

So. That's it. Two years, four, ten fourteen years of planning, of preparation, of investment in time, energy...
If you are one of the many people brought together by Terry Pratchett and Discworld, and your kids are now following in your footsteps, take a moment to look at them. Your investment in our future. Be proud of them. Be extra proud of them. Oh, and take the time to feel a little smug. Your love of the Discworld genre means you get an extra percentage interest on your investment.

So. That's it. Two years of planning, preparation, work, investment in time and effort and energy.Gone. Done. Finished? Is it heck! Brian just pressed *Pause*...

See you in 2 years

Con Report The Third, and The Hunter

The last report of a Convention is always the hardest, because by nature it talks of the end, a finality, a closing.

But Discworld Conventions are not like that. They don't end, they merely sleep for a while, until the next time. And while they rest other Discworld things happen.
People who met at the Convention get to know each other more. Events get organised. Con members find the IRC chat channel, and join in and become involved in more Discworld-related things. Discworld children grow to become Discworld adults. Life becomes one long, slowed down Convention, taking place the whole world over.
So, mourn not the Convention. Rumours of its death were greatly exaggerated!

I worried about how to write this. I delayed, because I couldn't think how I could express my feelings. I could have extemporised on the superbness of the Hotel (It was very good, but with a little tweak or two it could be better).
I could have praised the ConCom (But why bother? They were brilliant. They are *always* brilliant. And so many people have told them in ways I never could.)
I could waffle on about how happy I was to meet new friends, to remeet old friends, to discover new Very Close Friends...but no...actually the best way I can finish the Con report is to quote two people who said it so much better than I ever could.

Sessifet: *My inner five-year-old is yelling "I don't wanna wanna GO HOME! I wanna wanna stay with the shiny people!"*

And Bruce, our esteemed ConCom chairman, who put into moving words my thoughts of oh so many years and so many conventions.

*When people hear I'm involved in Discworld, they say to me "For Gods sake, get a life!" Oh, if only they knew what a life I had, and it is all here, in this room!*
His voice broke, just a little, when he said that. And so did mine. For it is true. Whether or not The Man With The Hat intended to do so, he has drawn together a huge disparate group of people, from different countries, faiths, colours, social groups, and turned them all into a group of friends, a family. And that, to me, is the Discworld Fandom. My family. My friends. And long may it be so.

So, until the sleeping goliath that is The Discworld Convention wakes from its slumber next time, Thank you Terry. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

The Hunter

Prizes!

A quick list of the main prize winners as announced at the Closing Ceremony - more prizes and links to follow!

Prizes, Prizes, Prizes!



Karen/hypatia, still half asleep...

Limericks

Lots of people asked about my limericks after they were mentioned in the closing ceremony so;

The Reduced Discworld

The Colour of Magic

A tourist in Ankh is at risk
With Rincewind as guide it's quite brisk
To travel the world
Until they are hurled
In a bronze fish-shaped ship off the disk

The Light Fantastic

Rincewind's got a spell in his head
So others now all want him dead
The spell knows what it's doing
And gets cast so A'Tuin's
baby turtles hatch from the star red

Equal Rites

Eskarina's a wizard, AND witch
So as trainee to Granny she's hitched
She runs off to UU
And staves off the hoodoo
By NOT doing magic (neat switch!)

Mort

Apprenticed to Death (with his scythe)
Is an odd way to work out your life
After a major disaster
He makes up with his master
And takes Ysabella to wife

Sourcery

Coin is a sourcerous lad
Though ruled by his death-cheating Dad
Wizards make a great din
Even Rincewind joins in
But we're saved when Coin's dad calls him bad

Wyrd Sisters

It's Shakespeare, with witches and kings
And a play with Death in the wings
Granny flies (despite fears)
The kingdom sleeps for years
And the Jester steps into the ring

Pyramids

Pteppic's called back to his home
Where the customs make him feel alone
But twisted up time
Puts his life on the line
'Til he kills a great tomb made of stone

Guards! Guards!

A dragon swoops down from above
The Guards, led by Vimes, get the shove
But Carrot arrests it
After young Errol bests it
Then they fly off together, in love!

FaustEric

With a Bang, our Rincewind is back
Taking Eric to see all he lacks
From Creation to End
Then Hell's steps descend
But they escape through a door in the back

Moving Pictures

Holywood magic's in town
Turning UU upside down
Victor's a new star
Gaspode will go far
And the Girl and Beast tumble down

Reaper Man

To Death Windle Poons cannot pass
'Cos Death is out mowing the grass
While the Auditors try
To make our Death die
The wizards go out and kick arse!

Witches Abroad

The witches are all in a tizz
They're off on some Creole-based biz
There's trouble about
It's the stories, no doubt
Then Lilly knows not who she is

Small Gods

Brutha thinks he's going to hell
His god has come back – with a shell
After a torturing session
Om learns a lesson
Belief must bind the Gods as well

Lords and Ladies

The Fair Folk are back with a plan
To capture a small bit of land
They antagonise Nanny
Infuriate Granny
And Magrat stands up for her man

Men At Arms

Edward De'ath was quite mad
And stole the Gonne, what a lad!
Then he went round the bend
But we find out in the end
The worst King would be Good, and not Bad

Soul Music

The music took over Imp Y
To channel its strange mystery
After seeing the coach burnt
Susan has now learnt
That some things must be left to be

Interesting Times

For Cohen and Rincewind it's rough
To take Agatea is tough
It all seems to go wrong
They're threatened by Hong
Then the Barking Dog coughs, that's enough

Maskerade

Poor Agnes must stand in the wings
While the Phantom applies deadly stings
To Opera folk at whim
Only Granny can stop him
And at last, the fat lady sings

Feet of Clay

The golems created a King
Vetinari near death's hovering.
What was the reason?
A lamp made of poison!
Vimes sheds the light on some things

Hogfather

The Fat Man is suddenly gone
Death and Albert their red robes must don
Teatime's the man
For the Auditors plan
But Susan makes sure life goes on

Jingo

Those Klatchian bounders, egad!
Run by their Sultan, the Cad
We set sail for Klatch
It ends in a match
When the island sinks no one is sad

The Last Continent

We're all off to Oz, Oh my Gawd!
The Faculty chaps are aboard
It's all rather tragic
But after Rain Magic
Rincewind finally gets his reward

Carpe Jugulum

The King has invited a bunch
Of Vampires for a christening lunch
The Magpyres are canny
But no match for Granny
They won't be back, I've a hunch

The Fifth Elephant

Werewolves want to rule by fang
The dwarves have elected their King
Vimes must solve mysteries
Of thefts and old histories
And a game of fetch ends with a bang

The Truth

Movable print has arrived
How will Ankh-Morpork ever survive
Against Vetinari, a plot
By the papers is shot
And a free press continues to thrive

Thief of Time

A clock made of glass isn't good
So off must go sweeper and Ludd
To rebuild the continuum
Susan flirts with Time's son
And you know that she would, if she could!

Night Watch

Poor Vimes was in a bad fight
Now he's dropped back 30 years out of sight
A quick substitution,
In the Glorious revolution
He still manages to do what is right

Monstrous Regiment

The girlies are all off to war
But just what are they fighting for?
Jackrum's a rascal
And makes a truce in the castle
But can they make sure that peace reigns once more?

Going Postal

The Ankh Morpork post is not great
(some letters are 40 years late)
A con man is knowing
How to get it all going
And the Clacks are now owned by the State

Thud!

A dwarf has been killed in the mud
A Troll teaches Vimes to play Thud
The Dark is all raged up
But Vimes keeps it caged up
A watchman right down to his blood

Making Money

Lipwig's got bored with his job
So with bankers he must now hob nob
But what's to be done
When the gold is all gone?
Golems will now do the job!

Chris Boote, Gopher, Watchman, dressed troll and no longer a Dyskhead (hooray!)

Moving Pictures by the Reduced Discworld Company

Directed by John Hicks, this production was able to use some costumes and props from his recent production for KATS, and one could tell a lot of work had gone into practising different accents and magnifying certain voices.

As ever, Tim Williams was a reliable leading man, capturing the naivety and dashing heroism of Victor, while Jacqui Lawrence as Ginger had the right standoffishness together with the glamour - in several clinging dresses.

They were ably backed by a large cast of whom I shall mention Kate Oldroyd as Gaspode, Richard Atha-Nicholls as CMOT Dibbler, Tony Perkins as Silverfish and Josh Mace doubling as Death and Oswald. Detritus' rocky grey costume was outstanding.

The adaptation cleverly reduced the text to a core of key scenes, and some of the action had to be narrated when it couldn't be shown, especially Nobby and Colon describing the 50-foot woman and the librarian - which we also briefly saw.

The play ended with a clinch between Ginger and Victor, and that Holy Wood magic lingered even longer for a marriage proposal and acceptance between two of the supporting cast during the curtain call!

Jesca Yates

Photo: Robert "Otto" Flach

A Wizard's Report - Monday

Junior Klatch: Ah, that most wonderful event, the Junior Klatch. I have had the privilege of sitting through two of these now due to having kids (this is not a reason to have kids by the way, it is merely a very nice bonus).

For those not in the know, the kids ask questions which Terry then answers, displaying his impressive repertoire of stories and anecdotes. All too soon, the time vanished and indeed, we overran a little, but it was worth it for all concerned.

Professor Stewart's Cabinet of Mathematical Curiosities: When not being a Wizard of Unseen University, I am, at heart, a pure mathematician with a penchant for messing about with computers and a comic twist of mind. Having this essential background, I have a love for all things daft and otherwise related to that most fabulous of subjects. I was, therefore, looking forward to this talk more than almost any other within the convention as it tugs at things within me that usually stay buried beneath a thin veneer of sanity and real life. I was not disappointed. Stewart presented many fabulous items rapidly, some of which I recognised, others that made me wonder whether I should actually look into them at some point in the future.

Reduced Discworld Company: Ah, yes. There were some very twitchy watchmen by the time the company were ready for us to get into the Dysk and watch the play. There had been some last minute items that needed to be sorted and this meant that it was running a touch late. In fairness to the people waiting, they were very patient and understanding and mostly figured that there was no way they could miss the closing ceremony since it was being held in the same room.

Once everyone was in and the lights went down we were treated to a rendition of Moving Pictures, done with the style and panache we have come to expect from this item in the schedule.

At the end of this piece, there was a surprise item for one of the ladies in the cast which was roundly applauded from all concerned. Our congratulations go to the both of them and we wish them all the best for their future.

Closing Ceremony: No!!! It cannot be the end!!! As with all good things (this is an odd phrase, since surely it should be "all things" rather than just the good ones) it must eventually come to an end. The speeches from the various people were moving and touching and it gives me great pleasure to bear witness to the various awards and mentions for those involved in making such an event happen. In amongst all of this, special mention must be made to the Unseen University Guild (WE WON!!!! As if this had ever been in doubt). Once the ceremony was over, we left, leaving Terry to clean up the stage behind us.

After a quiet period of contemplation over a pint (or less alcoholic beverages for Darpebble and Darwife), we finally left the convention with a song in our hearts, safe in the knowledge that there would be another convention in 2010.

Now the hard work of trying to return to normal life is required. I can put aside my pointy hat and hope that next time I am once again in the winning guild (2 out of 2 is pretty good by my reckoning). The Wizards of UU have agreed to try and stay in touch over the intervening period, so the hat may be off, but it certainly will not be forgotten and may just sneak out for an airing from time to time.

I hope your convention was as enjoyable an experience as mine has been. It is the people that make it what it is and they are simply brilliant.

Signing off for now,
Darrock (Wizard, 1st Class – Unseen University Guild)