The entries of the Masquerade

It is currently halftime in the Masquerade. Below follows some notes on all the entries. They are not spell checked, not read through, many of the names are missing or wrong - in short, I have been writing as the Masquerade unfolded, and now, I am posting it in halftime. Results, and report from interviews for Low King, will follow later.
I may correct this mess later, but no promises.




A bunch of seamstresses run up on stage. Someone performs the rite of Ashk Ente.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, your host for tonight. Heeer’s Pat!”
Pat arrives, flanked by two lovely ladies.
Two journalists
“Is it true sir, that you are a duck-o-phobe?”
I have a policy of never addressing my duck-ular orientation.”
Pat turns to go on.
Otto sets up his camera
“Excuse me sir, a photo?”
Otto flashes – and turn into dust. Luckily, the journalist has “first aid,” and Otto rematerializes. Journalists out.
Pat continues explaining the rules. Finally

This years judges:
Brian Nisbet, Chairman
Bernhard Pearson, the Cunning Articifer (Unfortunately, his biography will not be published, as there is no market for a book about a hairy potter)
Jacqueline simpson  (has exchanged the world of Academia with the world of macademia, spending the weekend with a bunch of nuts)
Terry Pratchett (this time wearing hat for the first time at an official function this convention)
20:31 The first entrance… is a bit slow in coming onto the stage. This seems to be because Pat has forgotten this paper. A man in black clothes with a beard arrives saing: “Owing to circumstances beyond my control, Davina won’t appear tonight.”
A telephone rings.
“Get davina to appear within ”
Que Mission impossible.
People coming to shave, make up, take off trouser, bring tea, put on wig and dress the bearded gentleman – and there, we have Davina, forgetting, though, Davina.
Unfortunately, Mission Control is not satisfied:
“shouldn’t you find a costume?”
Nod
“Do you think you can get one before the end of the evening”?
Nod
A good one?
Shrug
20 Hana Borum: Mommy trouble – a newbie.
A witch is mumnbling something, then saying a spell.
No result.
Uh, oh – what’s wrong? Let’s try the spell again?
Witch out

20:40 Vincent Oberheim – a “Master” Sergant Colon.
Sergant colon is on watch on a quiet night with Nobby.
Colon in in centurion uniform.
Colon is talking to Nobby. Some trolls are apparently playing football with something – or rather somebody, a dwarf.
It is very nice, Colon thinks, that the trolls and the dwarfs are playing together like that.
Colon out.
20:43 Everybody quacks as Pat admits his phone
20:44 Ross, newbie, as lady Margolotta: “Mantroubles”
Lady Margolotta appears, looking troubled, scouting for someone.
“Havelock, Havelock – where are you Havelock [Adressing Pat] My good man, have you seen Lord Vetinari”
He hasn’t.

20:47 Rooks: “Departure aria:” Aria between Iodine and Picadillo
Hazzled looking man in coat enters.
Offstage – the diva enters.
The man in coat holds up the translation as the diva starts singing:
“This door sticks (repeat) it sticks no matter what I do. It’s ,arked “pull” and I am pulling. Perhaps it should be marked…Push”
Unfortunately, the male lead isn’t there to sing – he seems to have been sat on by the diva:
Brian Dale, Journey man: Lord vetinary announces his retirement (It wasn’t his idea (Hicks made me doit)
Que Imperial March.
An aged Vetinary walks on.
He starts taking, addresses the audience, including various illustrious people.
He announces his retirement. He wants them to argue. And he will let them know his decision when he’s reached it.
20:55: Pat is handed a mysterious package. Within, one of the rubber duckies the hotel sells, in RAF paint. Pat puts it on the railing.
20:56Christine Racickot, rookie. Angua: Lady lavish is dead. The chairman has been taking to his new abode.
Angua enters. Steps on the dogs squeky toy. Starts playing with it.
“Corporal – are you coming?”
“Ehm, coming!”
20:59; apparent Pat can’t go back to Germany.
Michell armoro, rookie: death of sheep. Susan introduces a friend – the death of sheep. The death of rats has gone on holiday – along with Death himself.
Glenda: Telling us about a new makeup for trolls.
A woman in a dress with a white bonnet. Looking for sellers of Trollon, a series of makeup for trolls. Troll sized makeup. Including lip stick (The bigger the lips, the bigger the stick) and the fragrance, Hugo Moss.
21:06 Mike Brennon. The witches Nanny Ogg and Granny Weatherwax- First time in witches hats.
Two young ladies in witches hats.
Nanny thinks Bernhard is looking after her.
The witches are showing off their different personalities – though with a slighty more teenage bend.
Tammy Peters & Pete Haddock: Haddock of the Pseudopolis Yard.
Haddock enters and stands in a cone of light.
“It’s a funny old life in the guard…”
Someone runs in and hides behind a Hippo with a crest.
Haddock in again. Women’s clothes coming flying out.
It appears to be a young werewolf changing.
Minn Lacy, Novice. Black Ribonners meeting. With Lady Margolotta residing.
Apparently, the vampires are a bit on edge, not to mention unruly.
21:16 Act 7 part two: Lord Vetinari the decision. Imperial march, Vetinari in.
“I have decided, after watching your machination, that there is only one person fit to rule. Don’t let me detain you.”
MA8: summer lightning. The goddess of lightning and ruler of the storm, Alohura, comes in, wearing black clothes and a silver mask.
A long and somber speech about storms and wars, etc. follows. Very dramatic (no, really, it is).
Group performance: The Norwegian. No names – Pat can’t pronounce it. “Going Mental”
More Imperial March.
Two twin assassin students want to go undercover. They were told they were not ready, but want to do it.
But it is difficult, you must be one with the item. So it is dangerous. One assassin has become a lamp, one a drinks cabinet – and the Uberwaldian psychiatrist  wasn’t a Uberwaldian psychiatrist, but went undercover as one.
Next act: A warp. No wolf in sheeps clothing, but something else.
A… mouse? Wolf? Spitting feathers. A dance.
A werewolf changing into a young lady, apparently.
21:32. Someone who is 12: Bridget Hertabes? A goddess: concussia: the Fgoddess of not paying attention in PE.
The goddess comes in, plays around, but is then called off by a teacher.
Bridget is entering as a journeyman, not a junior.
21:35 Elaine Mine: A member of the UU staff musing about football.
A woman enters. She’s very pale. Opens a note book. An order for the uni.
A buyer at a shop, talking about Jules. She doesn’t understand – until – last Saturday – it happed to her.
A note: the crewman in charge of clearing the stage seems a bit exasperated at the amount of clothes he has to clear up.
21:40 MA19: Poo Carrot (Rookie)
A monk in saffron robes comes in. Wearing glasses and a beard. “Bo!” he says.
He quotes from “The Book of Mrs. Cosmopolite.” Ends with a “Namaste.”
MA20: Ann thorald and… Rookie: “No You can’t”
Norbert, the servant of Noggan.
Two priests arrive. Representatives of Noggan.
They will be handing out paperclips, and doing there SOGOF abomination scheme (Suggest one, get one free.) They will be handing out their magazine “No, you can’t”. Oh, and they are both, allegedly, male.
This, of course, is the act after which Pat goes into a rant about the punctuation and spelling of youn’uns.
Next act: Phoenix fire. A song, acapella.
A figure in red light. She stands up, in a red and yellow dress.
The last competitor:
Richard Archley. Joshua Lavish. The best customer of the seamstresses. Joshua Lavish doing a song in full regalia, with the seamstresses in the back. He throws out money.
And thus, the last act ends.
Or rather…. We miss something…. Remember the start? Did you think Davina wouldn’t find a costume? Haha, you feel.
Here she enters in a wizards robe. We all have Terries in our head (Davina’s got a terry costume on) – but who’s in terry’s head…?

And now, interviews with the candidates for Low King.