Sunday 29 August 2010

Scandal: Granny Weatherwax Sleeps with Lord Vetinari


By Clerk Domino

Yes, the all powerful Tyrant of Ankh-Morpork has been rumoured for many years not to be entirely human and our reporter can confirm that Granny Weatherwax sleeps with a plushy doll of the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork.

As you can see, the attached iconography proves that Weatherwax, highly esteemed Ramtops Witch, sleeps with Lord Vetinari (the identity of the bear under her other arm is not known).

How the disclosure of this shocking relationship between the all powerful Tyrant and the all powerful Witch will affect how Ankh-Morpork citizens view their ruler, we can only speculate.  When asked for more details of the relationship the Patrician’s assistant, Drumknott seccy PP, refused to comment.

It is well known that Weatherwax does not give interviews, and as this reporter does not wish to be turned into a frog, I did not press the matter.

Has Weatherwax used headology or witch wisdom on Vetinari?  We can only wonder, but Vetinari is the longest serving Patrician of Ankh-Morpork in recent history, what is the secret of his longevity?  We look forward to developments.

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