Sunday 29 August 2010

Mystick Minnie's Houriscopes for Saturday, August 28

PROBOSCIS, the Anteater: you will experience a deep sense of dread and foreboding just before opening your closet. It's probably nothing.
AMBIGUA, the drag queen: the Moon is ascending in your Cusp of Qualor, but it's just being friendly. The lid on your jar of jam will be unusually stiff. Hit it with a knife handle.
TRIANGULUM, the triangle: Extra cash brings bad luck. Buy your nearest astrologer a pint to restore your spiritual balance.
FLEDERMUS FRUCTOSE, the Fruitbat: You are invincible. Nothing can stop you. All undertakings begun today will meet with guaranteed 100% success. Want proof? Jump in front of a rolling cart!
DENARIUS, the Lawmaker: Find a Canis Calientus and stand behind them while grinning unnervingly. Guaranteed laughs.
TRIANGULUM ALTERNIMUS, the other triangle: the eye is the window of the soul. Consider getting new curtains.
EPHEBORASTOS, the Priest: the Sun in opposition to A'tuin's left eye drives change. Begin a new relationship today. Him over there, he'll do.
CANIS CALIENTUS, the Sausage: Look behind you.
ARENA LAMIA, the Sandwich: worrying about the End Times so much won't make them come any later, or for that matter any sooner. Enjoy your life even though your days are numbered...very numbered.
HABEAS CORPUS, the Igor: exthpect the unexthpected. Give yourthelf the chanthe you detherve and you will thuctheed on your own meritth. Your employer'th lothth ith your gain!
TRIANGULUM ALTERNISSIMUS, the other other triangle: Nox descending in trine with the Black Sun leaving the cusp of Io's sceptre trailing a blessed reverse syzygy. Hope that clears things up!
VISITOR CONFUSUS, the Perplexed Guest: Go to Ops.
IF TODAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY: nobody knows what you did last year, don't worry. Double check that all the evidence is well hidden and do your best to carry on as normal. Sheep cannot legally be called to testify, except in Llamedos.

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