The Honourable Company of Journalists, Clackspersons and Gossipmongers is, of course, taking the upcoming election for Low King very seriously. Who sits on the Scone has wide implications for all of us in the short term as well as in the long perspective. The Company has been evaluating the candidates for a considerable period and has made its decision. We need a strong Low King, we need a firm Low King, and above all, we need a media-friendly Low King. A free and unintimidated press is essential for Uberwald.
The Honourable Company of Journalists, Clackspersons and Gossipmongers is delighted to announce that it endorses the candidacy of Jennifer Delaney (A89) as Low King. Jennifer Delaney is a dwarf of many years' stooping with a long and proud record of serving the mines in many capacities. We believe that Jennifer Delaney is the best dwarf for the role of Low King. If Jennifer Delaney is elected, there will be more gold for all dwarves and we will get the answers to the pub quiz in two years' time!
As for the other candidates, we have heard some sad tales. Our crack team of investigative journalists is still investigating, and we are gathering evidence of shameful scandals. Rumour has it that at least one candidate is not a dwarf and that some may even be female and proud of it. Rest assured that we will do our utmost to keep you updated on these shocking revelations.
Remember, in the election for the Low King, vote Jennifer Delaney (A89) – high standards for the Low King!
On behalf of the Honourable Company of Journalists, Clackspersons and Gossipmongers,
Elias Helfer, Deputy.
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