Jumping about, waving and bashing sticks together. Certainly not the sort of activity that a wizard should be involved in. However, in order to keep up my disguise, I was forced into attending this most bizarre of events so that my daughter could enjoy herself.
In we went, with my excuse in hand so that I could just sit and watch (my son who was by this stage ready for a snooze). The delightful lady and gent running this piece politely asked for volunteers to join in with the dancing and were met by hundreds... well tens... well, ok then 4, brave individuals keen to leap about a bit.
Having introduced them to a bit of the dance that they were to learn, there were enough volunteers available to make up another team of 4, one of whom was my daughter. Since the large wooden poles were a bit large and heavy for her, she was generously provided with a much more suitable (i.e. light) alternative.
Before I go any further I would like to apologise to the instructors since they carefully informed the various individuals of the correct terms for the various bits of the dance that they learnt as they progressed. I did not listen to this useful information, so I will make up my own.
The groups started with a bit of whacking and bashing where it would appear that each individual attempted to knock their opponents head or knees off whilst avoiding having the same done to them. Due to some kind of incompetence all round, all they achieved was to bash the sticks into each other.
The next bit was that they then did this weird game of interception, where the trick was to guess which way your opponent was going to move and to try and block them from reaching the end of the line. Again, thanks to some fluke, no-one seemed to quite get this right most of the time and the four people weaved in and out of each other, almost as if they did not understand the game.
The next part of the game returned to trying to bash your opponent’s skull with the big stick again. This was done with much more vigour than the earlier attempts and everyone had decided that the knee feint was no longer worthwhile. Again, no-one was seriously injured, so as a spectator I was most disappointed.
The final part of the competition that I saw involved some good old fashioned jousting. The pair would start in the centre, perform some kind of ceremonial circuit (presumably to show everyone in the crowd who it was that was about to duel each other) separate and head down to opposite ends of the field and then charge back at each other with great vehemence, spin each other round and round and attempt to throw each other onto the floor. I assume that due to this being a beginners class the combatants had not quite got the hang of the killing move yet and perhaps this would come later with practise.
Anyway, all in all it seemed a promising start and not at all what I had expected from the class. With any luck there will be some blood and carnage over the course of the weekend as I believe there is at least one more chance to go along and try it.
Signed,
Darrock (Guild of Seamstresses)
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