Church of Om

by Jessica Yates

This ever-popular event was supervised by Lionel and Mole under their Omnian soubriquets and was so well attended the leaflets ran out (and could not be caught – sorry!).

After Mole’s introduction explaining why the Church had sent him to preach in Bonk (you had to be there!) we sang the usual hymn “Om is trampling the unrighteous”. Lionel performed the (real and sincere) Blessing of Sister Periwinkle and Brother Butcher. We accepted our theological instruction and heard the parish notices, especially tailored for Bonk, such as Count von Sturmunddrang invites young ladies to meet for the embroidery circle at midnight – virgins only.

There would be a werewolf awareness meeting, Igor’s Bring and Buy Sale, and the Dwarf Outreach Group had organised a Dwarf speed-dating event – wear leather gear and hoods.

Our final hymn was based on Abide with me, emended to request Om to shield us from vampires and werewolves.

The service was held in the presence of a very fine image of Om, with the guest appearance of Offler and the goddess Libertina and as always, contained a genuine spiritual and ecumenical uplift.

Thanks to Mole for planning the service and organising the A3 leaflets, and Lionel for co-officiating, and Sister torture on the organ.