by Marie Kirby
1. Be aware of fast-moving hazards at ground level. These may or may not include dwarves,b small children and mini remote-control Luggages.
2. If something squishy and/or pointy pokes you from behind in a busy corridor or queue; before screaming, consider the possibility that it may be an inflatable kangaroo.
3. Don't boast about your sword within earshot of Terry, no matter which cult fantasy film it was featured in. He WILL go one better. In style. In front of a considerably large crowd of witnesses.
4. The law of sod is in force where elevators are concerned. The one you're standing directly in front of will never be the one that comes.
5. Helping feegles to touch up their body paint attracts very good karma. They might even decide you're too nice to rob.
6. If you ever meet our distinguished compère Pat Harkin, DO say quack. DO run away very fast. He knows how to dispose of bodies.
7. However many iconographs you may have seen prior to attending the convention, be warned that nothing will prepare you for the spectacle that is Davina's half-time Maskerade performance.
8. Be nice to the other guests at the hotel who stare openly at your exuberant PussyCat Club staff costume. By the end of Day Two they'll be wishing they were at the more interesting party.
9. No matter how many different character costumes you see going to the Gala Dinner or Rat Race, you can be sure that in the morning there will be approximately 900 very convincing Reg Shoes.
10. There are four stages of 'being' at the Discworld convention:
i) OMG costumes!
ii) OMG that's Terry in the bar!
iii) OMG it's 4am! and;
iv) OMG I don't want to go home!
1. Be aware of fast-moving hazards at ground level. These may or may not include dwarves,b small children and mini remote-control Luggages.
2. If something squishy and/or pointy pokes you from behind in a busy corridor or queue; before screaming, consider the possibility that it may be an inflatable kangaroo.
3. Don't boast about your sword within earshot of Terry, no matter which cult fantasy film it was featured in. He WILL go one better. In style. In front of a considerably large crowd of witnesses.
4. The law of sod is in force where elevators are concerned. The one you're standing directly in front of will never be the one that comes.
5. Helping feegles to touch up their body paint attracts very good karma. They might even decide you're too nice to rob.
6. If you ever meet our distinguished compère Pat Harkin, DO say quack. DO run away very fast. He knows how to dispose of bodies.
7. However many iconographs you may have seen prior to attending the convention, be warned that nothing will prepare you for the spectacle that is Davina's half-time Maskerade performance.
8. Be nice to the other guests at the hotel who stare openly at your exuberant PussyCat Club staff costume. By the end of Day Two they'll be wishing they were at the more interesting party.
9. No matter how many different character costumes you see going to the Gala Dinner or Rat Race, you can be sure that in the morning there will be approximately 900 very convincing Reg Shoes.
10. There are four stages of 'being' at the Discworld convention:
i) OMG costumes!
ii) OMG that's Terry in the bar!
iii) OMG it's 4am! and;
iv) OMG I don't want to go home!
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