by Darrock, Guild of Seamstresses
I am sorry to report that my poor psyche is in shock. I have discovered that the seamstresses provide a lot more to society than I ever imagined. It has taken much effort to hide my shock from my fellow seamstresses, but for the time being I believe they are still unaware.
It is becoming harder to hide my deceptions from the guild however. I have had to reduce the amount of clothes that I wear and push forward my wife and children in the hopes of deflecting any awkward questions.
Today for instance, I managed to get both my children into a fancy dress competition. This competition had many wonderful costumes and performances that put my efforts to shame. Nevertheless, this provided some camouflage to hide behind while wondering how I could extricate myself from this difficult situation without incriminating myself (oh, erm, and the UU, yes, them too).
It worries me to think that “hugs” and “cuddles” might turn to “thugs” and “cudgels” if I do not manage to keep up appearances. I believe I have arranged a way out for tomorrow so that I can return to Ankh Morpork and my former life, report to the Arch Chancellor and hopefully put the shameful events with Sir Joshua and his friends behind me.
If this turns out to be my last report, let it be known that I have gone lower than any wizard has ever been known to go and definitely above and beyond the call of duty in order to discover the truth behind the seamstress guild.
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