Saturday
This was crunch day! I’d spent most of the last 2 years planning a Maskerade entry, having enjoyed watching the 2006 and 2008 shows. I’d not felt confident enough to try a main character so was looking for a minor one or even a pen picture and, as I love music, I thought I’d try the musically themed ones first.
That’s when I re-read Maskerade and had the eureka moment on reading the Departure Aria description again. It’s always made me smile – the 17 stone lady pretending to be the 17-year-old consumptive in those sorts of opera and I was more than qualified to do that!! The bits of information about Dame Violetta Gigli in the book say that she originally sang the aria (well enough to inspire Dr Undershaft into a career of music) and that she once squashed a tenor.
I asked my music teacher to write me a piece of music suitable for the 6 lines we get in the book, having explained the background first and he produced a wonderfully bittersweet track, Lottie very kindly made me the hooped underskirt and another friend made the overskirt and shawl. I then wrote out the subtitles and created my 2D tenor to attach to the back of me! That’s when 1 month before the Con, I realised I needed someone to turn the cards, and my good friend Min volunteered. We did wonder about making her a dwarf, in honour of the Low King, but ended up with Walter Plinge, as it was more in keeping with the story.
So Saturday was spent being nice to the lovely people in the Maskerade Tech rehearsal – many thanks to Pam and Miss Treason, not to mention Shadow Dave and the wonderful people in the Green Room.
I did manage to do other things too! I caught (by accident) The Deterministic Monkey Theorem by Ian Stewart (having got the room wrong and thought I was in CSI: Ankh-Morpork) but it was fascinating and I’m glad I made the mistake! I was also then in the right place for Jaqueline Simpson’s spellbinding talk on “Elves: Nasty or Nice?” which was spiced up by the attendance of Periwinkle in her Queen of the Elves persona.
She “froze” Jaqueline and said she would be sat amongst us to listen to this mortal’s speech and that there would be retribution if she didn’t like what she heard! Jaqueline then “awoke” and apologised for being dizzy. It was a wonderful talk but, of course, towards the end she mentioned something that Her Elvish Majesty took exception to. However, Jaqueline was ready with a steel poker, having talked to Susan Sto-Helit! Most enjoyable!
I managed to catch “The Man in the Hat” interview with Terry which was lovely and even got into Sator Square, where the lovely people relieved me of some of the bothersome cash I had on me (thanks Gemma for that lovely image – pinched from her Con report!) Then it was show time!
Lottie very kindly helped me dress – laced me into corset, hoops and lastly the huge skirt. Then with other props in hand, we made our way downstairs. I had wanted OTT opera and by the Gods, I think I achieved it! In fact, on the way to the Green Room, several lovely people stopped me for photos and even gave me some hall tokens!!
Once in the Green Room the nerves started, but there were so many other lovely costumes and people in there that I soon got too interested nattering to others to worry. The only annoyance was, with Herr Kartoffelpuffer on my skirt, I couldn’t sit down and the hoops were so temperamental, I couldn’t use the crutch – sigh! We checked where our duo act was so Min could check how much time she had to change. She was helping me but also had her own routine as Lady Margolotta at a Temperance meeting (a la Joyce Grenfell Nursery School sketch – wonderful ;)
Soon we were on! I hobbled slowly to the back of the stage and was wired for sound! We couldn’t see “Davina” and the warm up sketch but it sounded fun! Then the 2 mins per contestant was whizzing through and we were on! I could hear Pat doing his usual superlative MC bit and suddenly he was reading out my speech:
“Ladies and Gentlemen, the management of this year's Maskerade are proud to announce a moment of culture from Ankh-Morpork.
We present part of the Departure Aria between the tragic lovers Iodine and Peccadillo, as sung by Dame Violetta Gigli (Ankh-Morpork) and Herr Flach wie ein Kartoffelpuffer (Uberwald)”
Min made her way across the stage as Walter, clutching a broom and the cards, to a ripple of recognition and applause. Then it was me! Shadow Dave had kindly agreed to be the other half of the off stage argument (and he did a wonderful job):
SM: That's your cue, Diva!
Me: But where's Herr Kartoffelpuffer, this is supposed to be a duet!
SM: We don't know! Just start and we'll send him on when we find him.
The show must go on!
Me: Very well!
On stage I went (slowly) to another ripple (I think for the costume ;), made it to centre stage and cued the tech tower with “Maestro!” The music started and I remember singing – I think I got to the end (it’s a bit of a blur) but I do know that Min was doing a wonderful job of turning the cards as the level of laughter was growing steadily (I can remember thinking “Yes! They get the joke!How wonderful!).
I got to the end note, held it, let it dramatically waiver and then turned to look for my tenor, then (as planned) both Min and I look at each other, shrug, I curtsey as best I can and turn to go. Now, Pam had already suggested to get the best view of the tenor, that I move as close to front of stage as I can before making the turn. This I do and the roar that greets me, as I turn round was most gratifying. More thoughts of “Yes!” internally and I then staggered off (the wrong side – apologies again Miss Treason)
Shaking like a leaf, I then hobble through to the Green Room, where I’m finally able to sit, and watch the rest of the show. There are SO many wonderful acts – we had a wonderful time, except when the sound went! We then come through to watch the Low King nominees being interviewed by Pat, while the judges (Brian, Terry, Bernard and Jaqueline) go off for their holy huddle.
Suddenly they’re back! All is attention as Brian reads out the judges’ decisions. There’s a special award for Poohcarrot as Lao Tzu for best surprise (he went “Boo!” before even starting the sketch!), a special junior winner Brighid Hurtubise as Concussia, Best Rookies were a couple of new con members Norbert Servant of Nuggan and Kevin an acolyte (they were great – I actually caught their at in the Green Room), Best Novice one of the Anguas, Best Journeyman was Brian (Bri Tze) as the Patrician (wonderful) and Best Master was Richard as Sir Joshua Lavish with, as Pat put it, the first ever pitch invasion of a Maskerade (30 seamstresses!).
So I’m stood at the back thinking that was great, then Brian does the build-up to Best in Show (and the silver trophy). Apparently, there’s usually an argument at this point with everyone trying to put his or her favourite forward. I’m thinking, it must be the Norwegians cos their sketch was brilliant! When Brian reads out “The Departure Aria”!!
Evidently the sharp intake of breath I took got Davina (who was nearby) wondering how I’d managed it (very tightly laced!) and also where’s the camera cos the photo if she keels over would be unbelievable! I’m swamped with lots of wonderful people all congratulating me, while I’m still trying to believe what’s been read out! But I manage to join Terry and Brian on stage, where I get a kiss from Terry (woo hoo!) and then the trophy itself!
I then ask what now and am told I have to do it again!! Which means people racing for props and Lottie having to re-pin the tenor to his previous position! As I have to back up to the curtains, I come out with “I’m sorry dear hearts, I don’t have reversing music” at which the entire auditorium goes “beep, beep, beep”! Priceless! I then improvise a bit more and we launch, finally, into “Questa maledetta” again. And everyone sings along! It was quite magical.
I have vague memories of LOTS of photos being taken, of my arms getting longer holding the trophy, of being interviewed by a lovely lady from the Chronicle (Nitta), of champagne (well a glass at least), of more singing and watching people at the Hedgehog party and finally bed at 0200 (ish).
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