By popular demand, here is the filk from the Opening Ceremony:
Go to Ops.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, Ops would be it. The long-term benefits of going to Ops have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the opportunities to relax this weekend. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the opportunities to relax this weekend until you've walked out the door at the end. But trust me, in 2 weeks, you'll look back at iconography of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how worthwhile it is now and again to just stop and absorb what's going on around us all. The Programme isn't as packed as you imagine.
Don't worry about returning to the real world. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to outrun a werewolf over uneven terrain. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you just as you're trying to make a tricky move in Thud.
Do one thing every day that gets you Guild points.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's ReadMes. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Queue.
Don't waste your time counting hall costume tokens. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember drinks others buy for you. Forget the ones you buy for people. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old convention badges. Throw away your old hotel bills.
Have Breakfast.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your weekend. The most interesting people I know won't know by Saturday lunchtime what they want to do with their weekends. Some of the most
interesting con veterans I know never will.
Get plenty of liquid. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when you can't walk on Monday.
Maybe you'll join a Guild, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll Create a Religion, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll stay up all night, maybe you'll get lots of sleep and be energetic every day. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So says the Lady.
Enjoy your costume. Wear it whenever you want. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It probably looks fantastic.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but at the Hedgehog party.
Read the directions, please follow them.
Do not worry about wedding parties. We will only make them feel less special.
Get to know the Committee. You never know when they'll retire for good. Be nice to your Guildmates. They're your best chance of winning the competition and the people most likely to remember you next time.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because really, we're all here to have fun and, sadly, a whole bunch of other people think we're weird.
Volunteer to be Committee once, but… no wait, keep volunteering. Gopher.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Weapons aren't allowed. You will miss events you want to see. You, too, will get tired. And when you do, you'll try desperately to persuade yourself you can sing one last
song, have one more pint, meet one more new person and still get up in the morning.
Get up in the morning.
Don't expect everyone to instantly befriend you. Maybe they're tired. Maybe they aren't in the mood. But you never know when surprise conversations and friendships will appear.
Don't put on too much bodypaint or you won't be allowed to sit on the chairs.
Be careful what events you go to, but really take part in those you do. The Convention is a moment in time, a weekend that will all too soon turn into memory, but it is your moment, so make sure its worth it.
But trust me on Ops.
--Brian Nisbet
And for the younglings amongst you, here is the original:
2 comments:
This was legendary performed live :D
I believe I clapped all the way through.
Post a Comment